so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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