I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
