i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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