Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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