Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
