I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My feet surprised me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
