Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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