Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
