Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
