Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
