Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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