I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
