just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
