we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
