i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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