at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
