No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
