i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
