Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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