I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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