I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
