all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
