She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
