Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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