Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
