Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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