Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
