google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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