i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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