What did I eat last night that was bloody?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
