So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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