At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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