the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
