this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
