Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
