when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I love you.
Bad choice
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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