oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
