what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
