He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I did not marry a roomba.
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