Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
