Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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