lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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