just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
