You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You can't motorboat a personality
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
