Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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