In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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