Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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