Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
