She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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