Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
