i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
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