she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
